There's an apple nutmeg muffin in the oven!

So, the big exciting news in the Brewmistress household this week is the sproggination of one of my freshman year roommates. She's the first of my close friends to be pregnant, so we are all collectively over the moon with excitement--not that future babies aren't equally deserving of excitement, but Baby J undeniably has the novelty factor going for him/her over future siblings and cousins-by-association. So I have prepared a preliminary survey of maternity and baby gear for my neither-a-hipster-nor-a-groan-inducing-yuppie buddy.

First up, what Mama J will not be sporting:


The Obama Mama t-shirt. She feels quite strongly on this point. Besides, as she points out, "I live in California. I think we all know who I'm voting for." Correspondingly, were Baby J actually scheduled to be out and breathing during election season, we would not be spotting any political statements on his* onesies: "Anyone who still poops in their pants is just not qualified to make political commentary," says Mama J.

Which brings me to the next no-go: sassy onesies.


Not witty, not cute, just kinda trying too hard. And, while we're discussing things that are totally unacceptable, I have to include diaper bags like this, which is unimaginatively described as the "DadGear Messenger Diaper Bag - Skull/Flames" on Target.com:


Papa J has never been a guy who's especially overprotective of his masculinity, but even if he were, this would not be the way to defend it. It's as transparent as a big, growly sports car. Now if Mama J rolled up to a play date with the Skull/Flames Diaper Bag, that would be pretty funny (especially as she has Polite Newton-Bred Attorney stamped all over her, from her impeccable hair down to her deeply fabulous shoes).

However, I do think she would like this low-maintenance-yet-not-obviously-diaper-oriented tote bag from Orla Kiely:


Also critical to Mama J's LA style as she comes down the stretch:


Maternity Citizens. Mama J is going to be the cutest pregnant lady ever (or at least as cute as Raina was), and the amazing thing is that her butt isn't going to stop looking like this:


Now for the baby's clothes. I could be wrong, but I don't really see my friends dressing their kid, if she's a girl, in frilly dresses, so here's some sporty gear that any baby, girl or guy, could hold his head up while wearing (okay, if he actually could hold his head up on his own):


Super-fab and on point: ice cream T-shirt from babywit.com. Not only do we like the non-gender-specific aspect of it, but Mama J is an infamous ice cream fiend, so Baby J will basically be wearing his family crest. He can also rock out in these sweet-ass blue suede kicks which, frankly, I wish came in adult sizes:


And of course the legendary, the classic, for anyone born in the 70's, original Osh Kosh overalls. Corduroy preferable but denim will also do just fine.


Whew, I'm exhausted just from combing through the interwebs to find baby gear. Can't even imagine how tiring carrying the actual baby must be. Lots of love and giggles to Mama J... I am eagerly awaiting upcoming hilarious preggo stories, and even more eagerly awaiting the arrival of Baby J next spring. Watch this space!

*Gender of Baby J as yet unknown, but I can't cope with typing "him/her" all the time, and "it" just seems so sub-human.