1. Hold up an armored car.
What? Somebody does it at least once a week on CSI: Miami.
2. Develop a Nigerian wire scam.
3. Scale the vertiginous heights above 96th street. (Literally--half the neighborhoods up there have the word "Heights" in them. Lest we forget we're at the top of the island.) Or, a really scary possibility:
4. Dip into the uncharted waters below the 600-square-foot mark.
As Allen and I both work in lower Manhattan and possess a remarkable cubic footage of books, sound equipment and guitars between us, the Nigerian scam is looking better and better.
Still, a fifth option has presented itself: get a fixer. We saw a place the other day that's in a great location, close to the subway (an express stop, even!), great neighborhood, nice doorman building. The apartment had great pre-war bones.
I know that you know that there's a "but" coming. And here it is:
Da-daaaahh!
Also:
This bathroom floor consists of small hex tiles that somebody has painted over with white paint. Home improvement with white-out. Somewhere, somebody on Design Sponge thinks this is a great idea.
All the doors, trim and moldings in the apartment look like this:
Except for the cable wires that trail all over the apartment, caked to the wall with 30 years' worth of gunky paint. This is the kitchen "window":
And this backsplash might be worse than the Kutesy tiles at that other apartment:
A cornucopia of bas-relief fruit!
Whoever retrofitted the bedroom with this additional closet thought carrying the partitions to the ceiling was "too expected":
It wasn't all bad. For one thing, it's amazing how much bigger 800 s.f. feels than 700. I love the ceiling beams, moldings (catnip!), and yes, those are herringbone floors you spy in the living room.
If we had an extra 80 grand to spend on a new kitchen, bath, and a thorough sand/patch/paint job, it could turn into a beautiful apartment, though the fact that it's on the ground floor, facing north, on a block packed with tall buildings, means this is as much sunlight as you'd ever see:
Unfortunately, the straight-up cost of this one would mean stretching our budget till it shrieked in agony, so there would not be a red cent left for reno.
So, onward and (upward?)
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11 comments:
We live on 96th and we love the neighborhoods north of here! Don't rule 'em out yet! Plus, we could be neighbors :)
Leigh--I would be down! I saw listings for some gorgeous places in those big old buildings on Riverside. But the thought of it makes Allen get all twitchy--he works right down at the tip of the island.
Would love to be neighbors with you though :)
I know that bas relief tile and, weirdly enough, it's not cheap. Someone must have picked up a closeout.
Please be neighbors with Leigh so that when I come to New York we can all hang out.
Why do good floors and moldings happen in bad situations?
My apartment in DC, last two years -- north facing, first floor, with NOT THAT high buildings around (DC has very low height restrictions) is still dark as a cave, and I cannot wait to live in more light someday. I can only imagine how dark it would get in the concrete jungle of NY.
Rainakins, if we lived at apartment #4, I would be neighbors with P from What Possessed Me... there's lots of good peeps around!
WPZ, it's a bummer for sure. And the only reason the apartment was even remotely close to our price range was the cave factor. Alas.
Even though I don't know you, I just picture a very well dressed lady rolling around on the herringboned wood floor blissed out on beams and moldings... and husband and realtor stand by watching with shocked expressions. My imagination gets the best of me...
I forgot to explain that my cats behave that way when they imbibe in actual catnip...
"Somewhere, somebody on Design Sponge thinks this is a great idea."
Possibly the greatest line written in the history of mankind. Damn I can't wait to read your novella.
On a side note, in response to WPZ's notes on DC height restrictions, here's the official story: Atop the capitol building there stands a sculpture of an indian, sorry, native american. Said native american's name is freedom. You are not allowed to build anything taller than the indian in DC as nothing is higher than freedom. Let that one roll around for a bit.
Susan--yep, that's about right.
And KP--I had always heard it was the Washington Monument. Too funny.
If anyone is as nerdy as I am, here's an interesting article about what the height restriction has meant to the city, for both good and bad:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/06/30/AR2006063001316.html
diggin the other apt. not the Kutesy Kountry kitch-in but the tub and view. I totally chose our house for the tub. A good bathroom can help me overlook a lot.
I would have voted for this one, but the cave factor is a no way.
I am loving the vicarious house hunt, though, and hope to see pictures of you rolling around on the floors in your next post.
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